Jan 21, 2020
Our Children, at their core, need safety and protection to grow. As Parents, we need to construct a scaffolding of support around a child within which they can learn and explore the world and what it means to be in relationship with others.
There are a number of ways parents can create this scaffolding around a child. This is done through daily routines, limits, connected communication and empathy. One of the most important foundational elements is values.
Values are so important because when you clearly determine your values, you can set up your limits/boundaries for your kids. limits are much easier for kids to ‘buy into’ because they are attached to a value that everyone in the family holds.
Learn how to set up your values and limits and how to peacefully set them for your family!
About Robbin McManne
Robbin is a Certified Parent Coach, author and speaker. She works with parents from all over the world to help them build more connection and find more joy and cooperation in their parenting.
Robbin is a former ‘Angry Mom’ and for over 12 years, Robbin juggled a full-time corporate career while being a mom and wife, prior to becoming a Parenting Coach. In her corporate career, Robbin has a background in marketing and public relations, training, and event planning. She understands firsthand how many moms struggle to balance work and family.
It’s because of her struggles as a parent that she found the world of peaceful parenting and has dedicated her life to teaching parents how to build a strong family, so their kids thrive.
Robbin’s work focuses on building and strengthening the parent-child relationship so that children grow up with resilience, confidence and strong emotional intelligence. She works with parents to help them understand their own emotions and frustrations in parenting, so they can help build their children’s sense of self without losing themselves in the process!
In October of 2018, Robbin released her first book, “The Yelling Cure – How to stress less and get your kids to cooperate without threats & punishments.” Her book is being read by parents all over the world 1000,000 copies sold to date. www.yellingcurebook.com
Robbin divides her time working with her clients, speaking at events and spending time with her two boys and husband. You can usually find her at a hockey rink or sports field cheering on her boys. Most importantly, Robbin has changed the way she parents and connects with her sons and is dedicated to helping parents find the same joy, connection and cooperation in their families.
From the Podcast:
What is the difference between a rule and a limit you ask!?
Limits are carefully and consciously planned with family values in mind. They are rooted in an understanding of developmentally appropriate expectations of the child’s development.
Limits are NOT, demands coming from an expectation of complete obedience, but are a process of teaching and support. Limits emerge from the parent’s fundamental responsibility to keep children safe, to teach them the skills of being in social relationships and to teach them the values of the family.
Both rules and boundaries can prevent misbehavior, but with rules, the payoff to children for compliance is simply avoiding a negative consequence or punishment, not because they want to do the right thing.
Rules are the end of the conversation and with limits, they can be part of the conversation. Let me break it down for you:
Rules are inflexible and use fear and punishment in order to enforce them and are rooted in control over the other person. They also focus on negative or punitive reaction – in other words, punishment. Rules are often enforced with statements like, “If you do/don’t do this, I’ll do this to you.” “you must follow or else!”
They create a scenario where one person wins while the other loses. Children may not feel heard and it doesn’t leave any space for empathy. This can lead to disconnected communication
You want to use limits because they can be both firm and flexible – you set a limit that you want to hold but there is also room for compromise. It has a value at its core but the way we honor this value can change, that’s why we have flexibility.
They allow for cooperation – you can work together to find a solution that works – parenting with, not over
A limit makes your child feel supported and not controlled and most importantly, create a win/win scenario!
Thanks for listening!
It means so much to me that you listened to my podcast! If you would like to purchase my book or other parenting resources, visit me at www.yellingcurebook.com
With this podcast, my intention is to build a community of parents that can have open and honest conversations about parenting without judgement or criticism. We have too much of that! I honor each parent and their path towards becoming the best parent they can be.
My hope is to inspire more parents to consider the practice of Peaceful Parenting. If you know somebody who would benefit from this message, or would be an awesome addition to our community, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.
Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a note in the comment section below!
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